


Nobody Like You, Nothing Like This

by thorkified



Category: Bad Times at the El Royale (2018)
Genre: Age Difference, Angst, Cultleader!Billy, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Lust, M/M, Nightmares, Passionate Sex, Rough Sex, Runaway!Tom, Size Difference
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 12:39:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16018109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorkified/pseuds/thorkified
Summary: Tom is still plagued with nightmares, something that he just can't escape no matter how much he tries. It makes Billy realize that he actually cares for the boy, which only complicates life for him as he still has to take care of things besides Tom. But, as it turns out, Tom plays a much bigger role for him than he likes to admit already.





	Nobody Like You, Nothing Like This

**Author's Note:**

> More for the Billy x Tom verse, yay! I am hooked, I can't deny it. (And yes, Tom still looks like Oakley)

**** The nightmares won’t leave even after weeks of his new life. And how could they, given they have been a part of his life for as long as he can remember? The creaking in the darkness, the heavy steps that whirl up the dust on the wooden floorboards, the tapping against the door - slow at first and growing more demanding and aggressive with each second. There are cries in the night, his own that are twisted so much from pain and agony that he can barely recognize his voice. He can feel the tightness in his throat, the stinging pain that explodes on his back and it wakes him up with a scream stuck in his throat, panting and sweating and gasping for air.

When it happens the first time after he meets Billy, Tom forgets that he’s not alone. He throws himself forward, covering his face with his hands and sobs uncontrollably, every nerve in his body tensing and pulling, making it almost impossible to breathe through the horrors that his mind is tormenting him with. It’s overwhelming him so much more than he is used to, the ache in his chest so intense that it feels like it will rip him open any moment.

And then there’s suddenly a hand on his back and he is pulled into two strong arms. Tom tenses up for a moment, terrified that he’s not dreaming, that all of this is real, and then he finds those blue eyes looking at him, finds the worry and concern in them and it all comes back to him in one crushing wave of realization. He buries his face against Billy’s chest, unable to stop shaking no matter how tight he’s held, no matter how often Billy assures him that it’s alright, that he’s safe now.

It takes a long time before Tom calms down enough to stop crying, but he still won’t let go of Billy. He feels so embarrassed by this outbreak that he’s scared to look up and see the disappointment on Billy’s face. There is just no way he can’t be disappointed and call him a wimp or a crybaby. When his face is finally lifted up though, just enough so Billy can press a kiss on his lips that feels like rain in the desert, the panic rat that ran wild in Tom’s head begins to slow down. He doesn’t see what he feared on the man’s face, just a tender and gentle expression that makes his chest heavy.

“Baby, stop crying,” Billy says, brushing the tears off Tom’s face with his thumbs. “No one’s gonna hurt you, not anymore. You’re here now, with me.”

Tom nods, unable to speak through the lump in his throat. Instead, he leans against Billy’s chest again, closing his eyes when caressing fingers brush through his locks and over his neck. Billy’s presence and touch are soothing, especially now that it feels like everything comes crashing down on the boy all at once. He slowly begins to breathe normal again, his heart falling back into a regular rhythm, rather than trying to jump out of his chest.

“Go back to sleep, darling,” Billy mumbles, kissing Tom’s head before pulling him back down into the sheets with him. He keeps his arms wrapped around the boy, holding him tight as he finds a position for both of them to lay comfortably. “I won’t let anyone hurt you, I promise.”

Somehow, those words manage to make Tom smile weakly. His nightmare and the tears have exhausted him more than he thought and it only takes a few minutes before he drifts back to sleep, safely held in Billy’s arms that are like the haven he was missing for so long.

Billy, however, doesn’t fall asleep again. He stares at the ceiling for a long time, absentmindedly running his hands over Tom’s body to make sure he stays calm and knows he’s still there. Over the last weeks he noticed that a lot wasn’t right with the boy, but it had never been so obvious before. Of course Tom had told him about his past, at least partially, but Billy had had no idea how much those things were still haunting him.

That he got attached to this boy had never been part of the plan, it’s just not something Billy does. He doesn’t get attached, he doesn’t… love. But something about Tom is different, something that made him not even realize that he was developing feelings for him before it was too late. Does he love him? In a way he does, yes. Maybe not as much as Tom loves him, but he can’t deny that this feeling has grown in him over time. Billy is used to people being intimidated by him, scared even, which is exactly how he wants things to be. He doesn’t care for others, he doesn’t do things that don’t benefit him in the end, that’s just how he is.

And yet, he started to care about Tom. He cares about him in a way he only ever did about himself and it’s confusing him greatly. Seeing the boy like this, devastated and scared and bawling his eyes out, had caused a sting in his chest that was extremely uncomfortable. He’s not used to these feelings, not at all. At first he didn’t know what to do when he woke up and saw Tom in this state. He could only stare at him in utter confusion, feeling unusually helpless. That he comforted Tom in the end was partially because he didn’t know what else to do and partially because he wanted him to stop crying, which was the more confusing urge.

Billy never cared if someone was crying or not, but Tom? No, he didn’t want him to cry or be upset, it made him feel conflicted and bad somehow. That Tom is asleep again finally is relieving, but it doesn’t explain why he’s feeling the way he does and it surely doesn’t make it any easier to process. All that Billy knows is that he’s glad Tom stopped crying and that he wants to keep holding him. It’s nice holding the boy, whose slim figure makes it so easy to wrap him up in his strong arms and who almost disappears in his embrace.

Is this what it means to love someone? Billy really doesn’t know and it drives him mad. He wants to protect Tom, both from others and from the memories of his past and hates that he can’t succeed with the latter as much as he wants. Other people are not the problem, but memories? Nightmares? He can’t scare them away, no matter how much he wants to. Is this love? Being mad about something like this? Wanting to protect this boy from being hurt? 

Without realizing it, Billy pulls Tom closer and sighs. He honestly doesn’t know the answers to those questions. Maybe he will find out someday, maybe not, but it doesn’t matter anyway now. Things have changed since he knows Tom, that’s what matters. At first, he didn’t realize what or why. He had had affairs in the past, some lasting a few days, some a few weeks, but neither of them had ever had any influence on him as a person or the role he played in his life. They were throwaway things, a distraction from boredom, sometimes no more than means to an end. They were never important, never anything he remembered after some time.

With Tom it’s different. He spends a lot of time with him, even catching himself neglecting his responsibilities every now and then to squeeze out just some more of his boy’s company. It’s not good and he knows it. There’s a reason he is where he is and it’s not because he allows distractions to take away his focus. His people depend on his ability to lead them and recently, Billy barely thought about doing that anymore. Sooner or later they will notice and they won’t be happy about it. They respect him of course, something he worked hard for, but will they keep doing so when he fails to keep up the life they know? Or will they turn on him?

There have been attempts to overthrow his leader role in the past, something Billy always ended before any damage could be done, but it were never more than a handful of people. If more or even all of his people would turn against him, things might end different. No, he needs to focus on his role and his duties, otherwise there won’t be anything left to fight for. Tom is important, Billy cares for him in ways he never cared for anyone else even if it’s confusing and frustrating, but he can’t allow this to ruin what he built up over the years.

When he finally falls asleep again, Billy is determined to not let his feelings take over his life. Tom will understand that he can’t be there every second of the day, he just has to. Failing to focus on anything but Tom will eventually bring more harm than good and neither of them wants that.

\-----

“A phone? For me?” Tom asks surprised, turning the brand new device in his hands. Billy brought it home from a trip to town, but he can’t for the life of him figure out why he would need one.

“You don’t own one, right?” Billy shrugs, sorting through a pile of papers in his hands. “My number is already in it, so you can just call me whenever you need to. Do whatever you want with it, but try not to break it, those things are hard to come by here.”

“But… why would I need to call you?” Billy looks up at him, sighing at the sight of Tom’s innocent eyes. “Did I do something wrong?”

“Of course not,” Billy says, smiling at the boy. “But you need one, I can’t be here all the time. I have things to do, you know that.”

“Yeah, of course…” Tom drops his gaze back to the black and definitely expensive gift, not sure what to say to this. It feels like Billy is telling him he’s leaving, even if he knows that’s not the case.

“Darling, come here.” Tom’s head snaps up at the sound of Billy’s voice and he walks over to him immediately, being greeted with a peck on his lips. “I like spending time with you, but if I am with you all the time I can’t do my job.”

“So... you won’t leave?” Tom asks, unable to hide the fear in his voice.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Billy smirks, brushing his thumb over Tom’s chin. “But if something happens you can talk to me when I’m not here, okay? I’ll come back, this is just for your own safety.”

“Okay,” Tom nodded, leaning into Billy’s touch. “I’ll be careful with it.”

“You are really cute when you’re scared, you know that?” At this, Tom looks up suspiciously. “There’s something about you like this that just makes me want to take you on the spot.”

“Why don’t you then?” Tom teases, making Billy chuckle.

“Soon, baby,” he says, kissing Tom quickly again before pulling away and putting the papers down. “I have things to take care of first, as much as I’d love to tear your clothes apart.”

“As long as you come back,” Tom sighs, wrapping his arms around Billy’s waist from behind before he can leave. Billy tenses up for a moment at this unusual gesture, but eventually covers one of Tom’s hands with his own. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“You’re always good,” Billy assures him, bringing the hand he holds to his lips and kissing it. “I’ll be back soon.”

After leaving and closing the door behind him, Billy is surprised by a wave of guilt he never experienced before. He needs a moment to collect himself enough to walk away from the small house. It’s the only thing he can do and it will get easier with time, that’s all he can console himself with. It’s strange feeling the need to stay with Tom, whom he only knows for barely a month now, and he doesn’t like it. Not because he’d rather spend his time alone or wants the boy gone, but because it makes him feel like he’s losing control and he can’t have that.

\-----

When Billy comes home in the evening, Tom hasn’t called him once. He won’t even admit it to himself, but that slightly worries him. He finds Tom sitting by the fireplace, nose deep in a book that he recognizes as one of the few he had stashed away in a shelf in the living room, and for a moment, Billy just stands there and looks at him. Tom didn’t realize he’s there yet, so he has enough time to take in what he sees. He had expected Tom to like books, given he was alone for most of his life, but the peaceful atmosphere actually seeing him like this is surprising him and actually makes him smile a little.

“Busy?” Billy asks eventually, making Tom almost jump up and throw the book onto the couch. He turns around, blue-green eyes beaming at the other with sheer happiness.

“You’re home!” he exclaims, pushing himself up and basically running into Billy’s arms. Billy catches him with a laugh and presses him tight against him.

“Did you miss me so much?” he asks, running a hand through the boy’s golden locks with a smile. When he puts Tom back on his feet, he looks up at him with a precious pink on his cheeks. He steps on his toes and presses a kiss on Billy’s lips, pulling back with a bright smile that makes him look almost illegal.

“More than you can imagine,” he says sweetly, making sure he stays as close to Billy as possible, even wrapping his hands around him, hooking his thumbs into the back pockets of his pants. “Didn’t you miss me too?”

“Tell me if I did,” Billy growls, pulling Tom’s hips towards him harshly. Tom lets out a gasp at the hard bulge pressing against his stomach, hooded eyes looking up and his face flushing even harder.

“That much?” he asks before Billy drowns him in a deep and lustful kiss. 

Billy picks him up easily, allowing Tom to wrap his legs around him as he ravishes his mouth like a long desired treat he finally gets his hands on. And Tom is just that, he’s his reward after a long and draining day, the one thing he has been looking forward to for hours on end. He barely manages to carry Tom over to his bed before the boy starts moaning into his mouth and Billy swallows all of them, drinking Tom in like the gorgeous sin that he is while starting to undress him frantically. 

There is no holding back, no foreplay and no gentle touches. This is pure need, pure lust and the sheer intensity of it makes Billy’s head spin. Tom’s moans sound heavenly in his ears when he pushes into him, the nails digging into his shoulders so desperate that they almost break through his skin and draw blood. He has seen Tom needy, but this is a whole new level and it turns him on so much that there’s no way he can slow down. 

It’s almost animalistic how Billy fucks Tom into the mattress, makes him scream from pleasure and pain, sucking and biting his pale, delicate skin wherever he can reach it. He leaves marks and bruises all over Tom’s neck and collarbone, each of them making the boy moan in ecstasy and push against his thrusts as hard as he can. When Billy spills into him, Tom cums hard against his stomach before pulling him down into a desperate kiss. He keeps rutting into the boy, drawing out their highs as long as possible, completely giving into the overwhelming release that clouds his mind.

Billy can barely breathe, but his lips refuse to leave Tom’s for even a second. He rolls them around so the boy is on top of him, hands roaming the slender, trembling body slowly. Even now, while barely able to hold himself up, Tom keeps moving, rolling his hips against him while riding his still hard dick like a needy little whore. Billy can’t help but force them apart at one point, pushing Tom back so he can fully take in the sight. It’s absolutely mesmerizing, there’s no other word for it.

Tom is completely lost. His eyes are closed as he rides him, his golden locks bouncing and his lips parted, bringing forth the most delightful moans possible. Billy is fascinated like never before, seeing his boy like this the most beautiful thing he can imagine. His hips buck on their own, thrusting up into Tom’s inviting and almost greedy hole, each of them making his whole body shake from pleasure. It feels incredible, unlike anything else he knows of, especially with how wet and slick Tom is after he filled him up before and how the boy’s hands shakily try to keep him up.

Hours later, when they finally collapse on the bed, Billy lost count about how often he made Tom cum or came himself. Tom is barely conscious at this point, fighting to even keep his eyes open and it’s nothing but beautiful in Billy’s eyes. He leans over to him, kissing his navel and trailing his lips along his stomach and chest, delighted by the gorgeous shiver he sends through the boy. After kissing his neck almost tenderly, Billy pushes himself up so he towers above him, a wicked and blissful smile on his face.

“Still miss me?” Billy asks, making Tom smile weakly.

“A little less now,” he chuckles. Billy wraps his arms around him again, pulling him close. Tom contently nuzzles his face against Billy’s chest and sighs. “I’m so glad you came back.”

“I’ll always come back to you,” Billy promises before kissing the boy’s head gently.

Later, when Tom is long asleep and Billy is about to drift away too, he brushes his fingers through the boy’s pretty golden locks again and sighs.

“You have no idea what you do to me, do you?” he asks quietly, the words only for his own comfort at this point. “I never thought I would fall in love with someone, but I know that I do and it’s scary because it’s so easy with you…”

Admitting this, even if it was only to himself, is a difficult thing for Billy. But seeing Tom like this, in his arms with a smile that he caused and knowing that he needed him as much as he did… it makes it worth it somehow. Yes, falling in love takes away some of the control he depends on, but if it gives him this kind of bliss, isn’t worth it? God, he really hopes it is, because he wants to keep this boy as close as possible and never let him leave again. For the first time in his life, Billy wants to let someone stay and be close to him, as frightening as this thought is.


End file.
